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Had a great run, but my date tonite with Sg. fell through so I’m at a mixed emotion.  Yesterday he warned of being sick and being a gentleman I messaged him when I got back from the trail to allow him an easy out.  I know how I feel when I’m miserable. I just can’t stand to be out trying to have a good time despite how I feel.  But what really makes me feel like an asshole is that I’ve been spelling his name wrong the whole time we’ve been IM’ing and he finally just corrected me.  Language barrier, but I feel a bit like an idiot.

But today is a start of a new circuit and I’m beginning to feel the concretization of the way my training is breaking down.  I finished 4 sets of different trails increasing in distance and varied terrains and elevations.  I repeated each trail 4 times and when I finished the last trail I ran each trail again for review.  Today I started all over again, but on a new trail, relatively flat but a much longer distance than I have run in the last cycle.  I am a mixed emotion.  I feel let down and super embarassed over the Sg. thing, but people call me or spell my name wrong all the time and I don’t think they are an asshole unless they repeatedly do it after I correct them:  Capricorn self consciousness.

Slow start to get out of the house, but I had a cushion of time to get to work because my first client is in the afternoon.  Was going to just run from Fort Mason and loop Crissy field, but when I plotted it on my phone realized that it was only about a 3 mile run.  By the time I was on the road working out scenarios I thought it would be fairly epic to run from Fort Mason to Fort Point.  I parked at upper Fort Mason and was able to physically see Fort Point.  I know from experience that if you can see your goal it is easier to get there.  That’s true of both Trail Running and Life.  I’m not ready to get there when it comes to life, I can’t clearly see where I’m going.  I just need to keep running, keep reflecting and take care of the shit that I neglect because that shit is hardly exciting, compelling or even necessary, but it does weigh on me and doesn’t make me happy.  I’m talking about the shit, not the running.

As I had to take a major shit as soon as I parked my car, I did  a quick warm up and found the closest john.  After voiding, I was able to hit the trail and was pleasantly surprised that I was running pain free, my legs were firing and I was just being carried along  by my own intention.  It was a great look, and I know I looked like an ultra-runner.  A hardcore competitor.  That’s what I am training toward.  Cruising through Marina Green I followed a lawn mower track so I didn’t have to run on the walkway.  At the end of the Yacht Harbor I passed a pretty hot runner, bearded, taller and my age.  I made eye-contact, gave him the thumbs up sign because I’m a dork and am compelled to say hi to everybody on the trail because its backwoods etiquette. This is the City, where most of the time eye contact is avoided but still I was on a fucken trail.  It was low tide so I ran down this little spiral pier to the exposed slimy beach and took a header while the hot dude was looking at me.  Wipe out while cruising.  That is so me.  I got up and he gave me a thumbs up and shouted, “Good recovery!”  I returned, “That’s why I wear gloves!”  Totally off the charts in the dingus factor.  I should also be wearing a safety helmet.

Carried on through Crissy Field making incredibly good time and feeling fast.  Heading down to Fort Point underneath the Golden Gate Bridge, I took out my phone and snapped some pictures of the span support.  I asked another runner to take my picture with my phone and she did.  I headed back and was at the Contour in incredible time.  My fastest split today was a 9:28 min mile and the total distance I ran was 6.03 miles.  So you see, I am ready for a 10k trail race.

Running through the park I really felt like I belonged.  Seeing the Rangers and the golf carts and the National Park Service emblems on the buildings made me feel really good about what I’m doing at San Francisco Maritime.  Its about sustainability, not only sustaining the resources that you love, but sustaining yourself, your dreams, your desires and goals.  Always pushing harder with the clearest intentions and looking at obstacles as necessary and failure as a common yet basic human experience.  The ability to be resilient is what makes us gods.

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