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Wednesday I completed the mileage part of my taper up although I  woke up grumpy as hell on Wednesday morning.  Went out with the LGID on Tuesday night and it commenced into a mutual bitch fest, with me taking the lead and dude consoling me mostly but I had a lot on my chest and had to get it off with someone I could trust and who has business savvy and is in the loop but outside of it enough so I could blow off the steam and strategize attack.  Guess what old ‘boyfriends’ are for that you have more of a friendly connection with than a romantic one, but I’m glad I got support from someone like that and I appreciate it.

Ended up spending the night at his house so I could give him the fashion approval for his outfit because his company just got bought out in a hostile takeover, and it was a good thing I did because I saved him from the powerless look of an exposed V Neck T Shirt under a button up long sleeve shirt with a suit.  Not a power look.  Its either tie or chest baby, if you don’t have one then you don’t have none.

So I walked home and got a Rocket at my usual cafe, Brainwash, which I stop by if I’m walking an Easterly down Folsom Street Walk of Shame, but of course, since it was the Last Guy I Dated’s house and we didn’t do anything I have nothing to be ashamed about (of course except for wasting his time, but we are forming a friendship).  It was still early, about 8 and I was feeling crunchy and sad from the night before and just couldn’t hit the trail in a condition like that.  Instead I stayed in bed and posted a series of despondent tweets which are so goodly bad that I have to repost them for posterity:

  • the stars are correct in their alignment and I’m just a symptom of that configuration.
  • 7 miles to clear the head but so depressed I can’t leave bed.
  • took a grumpy pill today and washed it down with a cup of angst.
  • if moods were measured geographically, mine would be located at the South Pole.
  • finds the power of a positive quote is to be nauseatingly trite.
  • someone threw the bitch switch to maximum output.

What was amusing to me was that I found myself dwelling in sadness and every time I thought of a good non-motivating thought it would make me feel a little better, actually laugh.  I felt it better to immerse myself in those feelings rather than deny, hide or try to drown them.  Its important that I address the issue that is causing me the most problem, but I just got to wait for my timing to be right because if it doesn’t work out the way I see it, the best possible way for all parties, I’ll have to be able to make a strong decision.

But enough vaguerie.  I finally got my ass together and ready for my 7 mile final training run before my race on Sunday.  It was afternoon sometime I guess.  I had only had that coffee and scone from Brainwash, but didn’t really want to eat.  I had planned to loop the Presidio starting at Baker Beach, but by the time I got to the Baker Beach parking lot I was ready to turn around and go home.  It was bitingly windy and cold and I could see that it was sunny across the strait over in Marin.  I took a piss and tried to get myself to stay, but by the time I got back to my car I was like fuck it, lets do the course over in the Headlands.  So I drove out, but started getting concerned about being hungry and thinking how it would really fuck things up if I had to go into Sausalito for a burrito or something then drive back out to the trail head and it just stacked up to be logically unreasonable.  So I decided to go to the snack shop at the Bridge.  I had to wait for parking but by the time I pulled into a slot there was still a little time on it.  I got out and the wind sort of caught my door and according to the fucking cunt I was parked next to, my door hit her on the side of her door.

Immediately the bitch started screaming at me, “You hit my car! What the fuck you doing, you fucking dick!”  Basically releasing a torrent of cliched invectives that were just so fiercely vehement that I can’t even recall the exact insults she hurled at me.  Of course I denied my door touching hers, I caught it at the very last moment.  Then she came over to see the scratch, I was out of my car telling her to calm down because she was cussing in front of her surprisingly cute 3 year old boy for such an ugly bitch of a mom.  In an attempt to ream me a new asshole she told me mind my own fucking business and learn how to park.  The experience was so out of the ordinary I was shocked to shit.  Definitely the most vulgar woman I ever met in my life.

So I walk away memorizing her license plate number and keeping an eye on the cunt to make sure she isn’t taking mine or worse, go into the snack bar and realize it is so full of tourists its only going to upset me more.  Get back in my car and tweeted I was ready to just turn around and go home and then I realized that if I went to the bowling alley and got a corn dog it would make everything alot better.

So I pull into the lot at the Presidio Bowling Center and realize that this part of the Presidio is protected from the wind.  I’m thinking this is smart, this is working out.  Go in and order my corn dog and kids are there bowling so its taking me back to when I used to be in a bowling league when I was a kid and then they play Thriller and for the first time that day I am genuinely happy.  I really savor the corn dog and the memories evoked and they are all of the idyllic childhood type.  Comforted in the knowledge that I haven’t changed, I am essentially the same as I’ve been through all time and all indicators says that I will remain.  Grouchy moods are essential and are as part of my make-up as my generally positive mode of performing my personality and I like that.  I find strength in that.  Never underestimate the power of a corn dog.

So I got out of my car, stretched up and started the run.  I planned on running without music because I intend to do so for my race Sunday and there was so much weighing on my mind that I was actually blank.

My route was over to and up the Ecology Trail, hitting the Ridge Trail.  Strong up the hill I found a pair of iPhone earbuds by the Spire thought they could have been mine, but they were burnt out.  Past the Wine Bunker and down the stairs at Immigration Point.  Battery Crosby, Batteries to Bluff, making pretty good time.  Under the Bridge and then to Fort Point.  I checked my mileage, but had only done 4 right then so had to improvise so thought to go to Palace of Fine Arts and back to the bowling alley.  Ran into my client Jack running with his dog and looking really fit and athletic with his new haircut.  He wished me well on my race and I’m taking his well wishes with me on Sunday. The Palace’s landscaping is finished and fabulous.  Lawns of Letterman, Yoda fountain up Presidio and down Lovers Lane, little bridge Pershing Square and bam~ 7.08 miles.  I’m so tight.

So even though my day started off suck from the night before, I finished my training despite obstacles.  I took it kind of easy so on race day I have to find my inner warrior because Coach K was babying his athlete/warrior for the real battle.  Total time was 1:35, but I stopped, pissed, adjusted, investigated and talked to Jack.  Pace, 13:31 slow but then again I’m training, not racing.  Best split was 10:11 and that was right when I ran into Jack.  I think I’ll do well.  My time would put me in 19th/48  overall according to last years results and solid 4th in my age group.  Men my age in top 3 are running sub 11’s. Age group elite.

So I think my goal is to do a sub 12, doable.  After this race, my training gets tweaked in an interesting way, will be training up to a 1/2 marathon distance but not committing to any races that length.

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One Comment

  1. I started reading your blog today, and I really enjoy it. You are so smart and funny. Thanks for sharing your inner life with your readers.

    See you tomorrow.

    xo,

    Susan


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