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Thursday morning I had to be at the shop at 11 am which gave me time to do an early morning run and try out my new Garmin Forerunner 50 heart rate monitor.  My training is all over the map now, having completed my training for my race this past Sunday, and getting sick, again, but this time with a sore throat/cold/flu, definitely stress related because of the pressure I am under at work and the negotiations over paid leisure time which for some reason ownership and management don’t feel I am entitled to because I am a commission employee rather than an hourly or salary earning employee.  You saw how last week I was snapping over it.  I finally came to the breaking point and I am still waiting to see what the outcome will be.  Feeling discriminated against and not earning what is freely given to other people has my ire in a twist and is affecting me physically and emotionally.  I can no longer handle the stress because I have seen how it has been affecting my health.  I need time off like other people at work get and I’m ready to shop for it if my superiors can’t be persuaded to help me take care of my well being.

Hate wasting a blog entry with a negative assessment of my working environment, but as its been wrecking my health and affecting my ability to train, I feel it necessary to report.  However nothing is final yet and the owner has scheduled a meeting with me.  I hope for our best interests we can work it out.  I’ve asked politely twice for paid time off, I’m not willing to hear no a third time.  Also the reasons he’s giving me for denying me paid leave when its given to others aren’t any fault of mine.  I can’t be held accountable for poor management, poor planning and poor people when I’ve steadily increased my bottom line and grew my client base in the midst of a recession.  I have mentioned before that I am being unfairly penalized for other people’s performance.

So in this crappy mood I immerse myself in the trail.  I was running Upper Fort Mason to Fort Point.  I strap on my heart monitor and set it to go, not really knowing what sort of zone I’m supposed to be in.  Start to run and immediately get piercing side cramps from tension, dehydration, stress or whatever.  Still I muscle it out and find a pace I can run that’s not causing me jarring pain.  Other than that, I’m feeling no other physical discomfort, the stress is all mental.  Let me tell you I am in a foul mood, my outlook is bleak and everything is telling me that I’m being treated unfairly.  I’m thinking of ways to market myself and I realize how good I’ve become at branding myself and commodifying my talent and ability.  Still I trudge along the trail and when I get to the cambered road that takes one to Fort Point I spot dolphins in the sea.

Like a revelation and an instant connection to my highest power, that being a direct line reflection of my place in the universe, the dolphins serve as fortuitous omens  when I am having the most difficult struggles against the most imposing obstacles and show I am on the right course.  When I am at my sickest, the dolphins indicate that I am healing.  All courses are set to go and whatever decisions I have made that got me to the point where I’m at are the ones that will work best to deliver me from crisis.  This local pod I am familiar with.  I specifically saw the Darque Dolphin and her Black Daughter as well as the pink cheetah spotted Matriarch.  There may have been more, but I can’t say specifically.  The pod was fishing about a hundred yards out, circling probably gathering fish.  Yesterday, when I was roving at my volunteer gig at the SF Maritime on the wharf I saw a boatload of school kids with big catches disembarking an afternoon fishing tour.

The feeling of dolphin connection is the tingly feeling of being in love, wholly and entirely like it is the first time.  Physiologically, my heart rate elevates, I rush with endorphins and adrenaline and my skin prickles with goosebumps.  I took off my hydration unit and paused my GPS so I could take pictures of the dolphin pod on my iPhone.  Of course they are too distant and unpredictable when they surface to get a good shot with that device.  I pointed out the dolphins to two runners who proved to be European tourists and they stopped and observed the pod with me.  The blonde one told me of how he surfed in Australia and saw a fin in a wave and shit his shorts because he thought it was a shark.  The brunette one, broody in his black short tights, stayed quiet and wiped the sweat from his nose with the bottom of his technical training t.  Quick ab-check, I’m flatter, he may be slightly more hung.

So they depart and I have my moment calling the dolphins closer to shore.  The need to make time creeps, so I resume my GPS and continue on down to Fort Point and back up to the Contour.  Get home just in time to iron a shirt, but not to blog.  I dressed all in black, as if in mourning, to symbolize my disappointment and grievance.  I’m going to wear this uniform everyday in protest to symbolize the ability I have to change the things under my control and my inability to control the things I cannot change.  Not changing the clothes I wear to work works as a perfectly ironic metaphor.

Statistics:

  • Distance:  6 miles
  • Time:  1:11:18
  • Pace:  11:53 mile
  • Climbed: 332 feet
  • Calories Burned:  811
  • Max Heart Rate:  163
  • Avg Heart Rate:  128
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One Comment

  1. Quick ab-check, I’m flatter, he may be slightly more hung.

    LMAO … deeeep! ;-P


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