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Tonight was the first time I got a boner in Naked Yoga class. I was glad I went, not for the boner but because I have been dealing with people at work. I actually got into a debate over 1 sick day when I took Saturday off.

So I just managed to squeeze out of the shop and make it to Naked Yoga. Ken was teaching tonight and I got a cash tip so I could make my donation and go have coffee with jdavey tomorrow morning. I was last to arrive, and Ken had scribbled out the amount section so I donated just 5 bucks, leaving me some cash leftover for Peet’s. I saw that some guys were making their generosity known, so had no problem sliding the scale down to where I could afford. Ken begins the meditation as I lay out my mat at the front of the room and go to the back to stow my street clothes in the cubby hole. I get back on the mat just in time to settle and do my heavy metal ohm (which I am now doing with clear vocals).

The workout focuses on binds, Ken informing us that any type of bind we find ourselves in, we all have the ability to get out of. Apt. Also considering the fact that we choose to bind but sometimes fail to dissolve. Ruptures are what get people hurt. That’s why I’m trying to be transparent in my grievance and I know my ability because I execute it everyday. Then we progressed to wall assisted inversions. Forearm stands. Then Ken announced that we were about to do some partner work. Dreaded.

Because of my foul mood, which I was trying to work out through my yoga practice I grabbed the guy on the wall next to me. So we do a pose where you have to sit on the other guys butt while he’s in “Child’s Pose” and then fall back, slowly and gently being aware of your partner’s tolerance, until you are laying on his back. I was the butt sitter first. My partner said it was a good intense stretch. Then we switch. So my knees are spread wide and he’s sitting on my butt and my balls are getting squished and smashed into the mat. I love having my balls smashed and I just could handle it. We were so stuck together that when he adjusted, our bodies made a fart noise from unsticking. I kept the arousal in its space and didn’t get hard down there with my partner sitting on me. When I stood up I got the full hard on, my balls had to unsquish themselves somehow.

Well Yoga is about a nice healthy flow. As pissed as I was about work, it was good to know I can get a good healthy hard on despite the stress I’m being wrung through. Again, what is worrying me are other people’s problems. They aren’t mine. I just care about those people challenging me and that’s what makes it hard. Especially if the negotiation should trend toward dissolution and defection. That is where my disappointment is located really.

So we lay down and its at the end of the session and we are in Shavasana and my boner works its way back to appropriateness. Glad I went. Had to tell my partner he was responsible for my first boner in class. Its just the body, and it works. I still have yet to fart in class (audibly at least) but I’m sure one day that will happen.

So at the end of the class my instructor Ken asks if anybody wants his Kombucha baby that he just grew at home. I was all over it. I’m going to use my campfire water cooler for it. Now I know exactly what I bought it for.


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