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Monthly Archives: December 2009

Lets step back in time as its been about 6 weeks since my last entry and this is Christmas Night and I’ve been through alot.  I haven’t been running much, mostly due to my loss of gear in the islands, depression, recovery, injuries.  Its really been a taste of hell for this runner, but the most teasing demon has been the nagging guilt that I’m not with the program.  I do realize that programs need to be fluid and its really the long term goal.  I have found in my training that there is no sense in trying to stick to an arbitrary set of goals that I have set for myself, but rather to be persistent and consistent in achieving some sort of penultimate vaguely defined accomplishment that I know that my training is leading me toward.  Gay Games Cologne, probably not.  A hot fucken lover who will appreciate what he’s got and what I have to give, more probably so, at least that ‘s what I hope.  Still I have had some set backs and I feel like I’m about to start training all over from scratch once again.  I peaked, and I plummeted.  That’s what trail running is all about.

So I talked about some epic runs in Hawai’i.  Well Hawai’i was hell on my gear.  I ran a haunted power spot where souls jump off into the underworld and I was priveleged that they chose to cause a little havoc with me.  It was an honor to actually complete the 13.86 mile run at Ka’ena Point on Oahu and I had described how bad it fucked me up.  Major chafe between legs and from my hydration system, fried fritzed iPod shuffle.  Really this run had me feeling like I wasn’t really a runner, but in reality it proved I was.  Followed it up a few days later with a run from the Kahala to Diamond Head Crater, 7.45 miles of tony residential running.  Then things started to fuck up on Maui when I did a morning run from the Grand Waialea to Kihei and back.  That’s when the reservoir of my hydration unit rotted in my luggage and I was stuck without hydration, but upon getting back to the mainland I tried to improvise with water bottles but it was shit and it really fucked my confidence.

I fucked up my Nike sunglasses in Hawai’i also, but replaced them with some Adidas I bought at the outlet in Mililani.  Hit the bunny trail in the last post, Wednesday Woke Up Grey.  Shortly after I tried to register for the North Face Endurance Challenge Championship, but by the time I actually had the money to do so the race had sold out so I started looking at alternatives and found one in a trail run in Woodside put on by Pacific Coast Trail Runs.  I practiced the course and did pretty shitty on it time wise but had a good time exploring the Phleger Estate because parts of the trail for the race was closed.  Still I felt kind of shitty with my performance, which led to a pretty lack luster feeling about myself in my sport overall.  Come to think of it, I even ended up blowing off the race at Lake Chabot that I was training for which was a good thing because my sister and bro’ in law were visiting from Hawaii on that day anyway.  Just realized that things are just working out the way they will and I really can’t be pushing it.  Seems like I’m entering a fluid period and to not go with the flow means I’ll be resisting a current that may turn into a vortex that will be such a struggle to recover from.  As I write this I’m in recovery from these setbacks.